I've got a confession...

Last night was a very long night..

can't sleep...

keep on thinking about it...

listen to a few songs...

keep on repeating those songs..

tears are falling continuously...

then i post a new post writing how i feel...

i don't really dare to tell that person...

what i can do is juz post it here..

anyway, thx to all puto that cares...

i knew i've been emo about this..

u guys wanna help me n i knew...

thx to jee yeng too...

but the thing is i'm not ready to tell yet..

it's something big...

more than u guys could imagine...

it's really a burden keeping it all by myself but that's the only thing i can do...

honestly, until now, only cindy kong knew it..

it took me a lot of courage to tell her even though i know that she can accept this easily...

but i'm sure one day i'm gonna explode it out and everyone's gonna know about that...

confession of emoboy...

something that i want you,you and you to know...

"...so sorry that i loved you, sorry that i needed you, sorry that i held you tight..."

"...i don't wanna fall to pieces, i just wanna sit and stare at you, i don't wanna talk about it, and i don't want a conversation, i just wanna cry in front of you, i don't wanna talk about it coz i'm in love with you..."

"... 等下一個天亮 去上次牽手賞花那裡散步好嗎, 有些積雪會自己融化, 你的肩膀是我豁達的天堂... "

"... 我想我不会爱你， 害怕失去， 所以逞强的，远远看着你 ..."

"...我想我不會愛你 只是也莠~~~"

confession of emoboy...

damn....i'm gonna explode...

sometimes ppl think i've changed...

but did u guys think about yourself before judging me?

i'm sick of that...

ppl keep on thinking i'm someone who forget about the old friends when i have new friends!

shit!

if i did it's not like what's gonna happened right now..

u guys are not even in my memory..

what i wanna say is that everyone i know have their place in my heart..

but i dun wanna explain much coz none of u gonna understand...

the pressure i face right now..

yesterday i chat with cindy kong

and juz now i chat with peisian

about another problem...

on the other hand she cheer me up

by talking bout snsd..

damn...if this continue,

i don't think i can concentrate on my studies...

anyway, for ppl who think i had change, think whatever u want!damn!

confession of emoboy...

easy to say, hard to do...

Sometimes ppl really piss me of...

out of nowhere suddenly pop up from the chat telling me..,"hey, i know u very busy,then no need chat la"

DAMN!!!

what have i done to u?

i know sometimes i didn't reply u guys it's because i'm away but my laptop is just like 7/11 24hours available!

shit..i'm not in the mood now...

sometimes i tell myself i will ignore what others think of me but it is easier to say than to be done...

Last night i was still figuring out my problem...

then had a chat with Cindy Kong..

we both face similar problems..

but i know she's stronger..

at least she took the 1st step...

but me, i have to think and consider before i take the 1st step...

sometimes it's kinda funny because me n Cindy have quite a number of similarities..

lol

our matric number...

mine is 080003 hers 090003 haha!

anyway, felt great chatting with her..

at least i can share it with someone rather than taking it all by myself...

confession of emoboy...

my past...

since the last one, i really haven't had any feelings with any girls...

although i could really have a potential relationship..

during that time, i was still hurt...

yesterday night, i visit her profile in fb...

i didn't know if i can take it or not..

it turns out that i was confused..

i didn't know what's that feeling really is...

but i quickly close the page...

i still remember during cc trip...the most suffering moment ...

i knew a lot of ppl notice that..

coz she's there..and he's there too...

apple n jacky was there to support me...

phoebe and kit yee too, we had dinner together at a same table and i can feel that they are trying to cheer me up...

really miss them now...

everytime when i went to pasar malam with cindy, jacky and apple, they are arguing whether to let me drink 'ai yu ping' or not...

when i think back, it's kinda funny...

they keep on telling me there's another girl that could potentially be my gf...

but i didn't really wanna think of it..

and i don't wanna start a relationship when i'm not sure about what i feel towards her...

until now, i really can't find the feeling yet..

a couple of days ago...

a guy from fb saying that i'm cute..

he's trying to flirt but i didn't resist...

i just let him flirt...

i told him the profile picture is not me...

he took a tour on my albums and he told me i still look cute..

then i notice that only guys think that i'm cute...specifically gays..=.=

oh no...

i don't wanna be one...if i did i'm dead...

coz i know i'm gonna lose a lot of friends...

but sher lynn's gonna be happy...

she told me once it would be great if i'm gay..

sometimes i wish i could be like heng mei mei coz he's cute!

lots of secret admirer..haha!

looks like this year i'm not going to get the cutest guy award again!

yup, i get 1st during my 1st year...

confession of emoboy...

give up again....

While I was preparing for my final exam, I started it out with some confidence because we have three weeks of study week!!!

I finished studying for the first round...

Then, I plan to to all the past year questions that I have..

Unfortunately, when I open up the questions that Di Wen and Jing Hsen sent to me, I stated to give up

yup...I found out that I don't quite understand what the notes said...Arghhh...

But luckily I survived seaweeds coz I kinda know how to answer the questions...at least I didn't left it blank...

Today, I started my day with playing games....

Yup, to train my skill in Pokemon...

Too bad my laptop can't play and even if I get to borrow a laptop, everyone else is playing another game...

Haha..I'm a noob in this kind of game anyway except the classic type of adventure game of Pokemon.

So when everyone is playing, I decided to do the past year questions of Wildlife....

Again, when I was looking at the question, I can't find the answer in the notes...T_T

I even search for the answer from the internet but I still can't get all of them...

So, I decided to give up again...

What I plan to do now is to read again all the notes rather than focus on the part of past year questions...

Haiz.. I hope the answer for the final exam questions can be found in the notes...T_T

Wish me luck....Hwaiting!!!

confession of emoboy...

Shocked....and worried...

Finally, I finished my algae pigment report...haiz...

but...when I start looking at seaweeds past years question and try to search for the answer in the notes, I gave up...arrghh...study already but it's like I haven't study...

So, I decided to take a nap..

And then went for supper with KNS, Xiuz, See Heng and Mei Mei ..

And the roti today does not taste well anyway..

After that, we chat..and suddenly Mei Mei say he's tired...but Xiuz and KNS keep on chatting...

He say wanna go back 1st then I suggested we go back together..

When I was paying money, he suddenly fainted...

Luckily Xiuz has experience in handling such condition...

I was so shocked...the 1st time I saw this...

He was partially unconscious...and does not remember everything that happened..

but at last things getting better..

Kinda worried now...hope he will get a good rest...

confession of emoboy...