Worried but somehow....

It's been a few weeks where I was trap in the world of emo AGAIN!!!

Right now, I somehow confuse that am I still emo-ing or not...but one thing I'm sure is that I'm worried...

Yup...it involves the past memory of mine...

As ppl around me keep on suspecting me as gay...

Honestly, I don't mind how ppl see me.

What I mind is that ppl gonna ignore me.

It's something really hard when someone is ignoring you when u really need that person so much..

What I mean need here is not the need to be loved

but it's the need to be acc-ed.

I'm a person who would stick to someone when I felt close to them..

Sometimes it really freaks ppl out and they would end up ignoring me...

It's true...I'd been through it during my 1st year..

Right now, that's what I'm worried about....

I don't really know if anyone notice that I was so close to See Heng and Jeff lately..

Yup, it happens that during the period before raya break and during raya break I was so used to it where See Heng and me would chat with me through msn...

(and not to forget Lincoln that I refer as TaecYeon hyung that would chat with me through FB everynight!Haha!)

When I was used to it, I would felt uncomfortable when it stops...

Still I'm worried that I would have freaks him out..

Honestly, I don't wanna been through all this "losing a friend" thingy once more since it happened in my 1st year...

but I juz didn't know how would I explain or talk to him about this...

and yes...I'm not good in talking....especially face to face

Sometimes I would think of leaving him alone so that not to freaks him out but still I ended up sending SMS asking if he wanna go for tea or not...

This issue has been bothering me for a few weeks and that's the reason I emo-ed for so long..

Of course thx to those who care bout me asking me not to emo....You Xin, Jin Jin, WenLi, Ming Liang...etc...

However, I found my way to reduce the emo virus in me...

And I starts asking Jeff out for anything...lunch, dinner, breakfast, outing..

Yeah, I felt awkward at 1st...

It's all due to his relationship with Jeck Kee (sorry to mention it but I really wanna make it clear)

I'd heard the problem from Jeck Kee but not from Jeff...

I'm not sure what's he's thinking coz he didn't really approach me and talk about that...

and as the outsider i guess i can't comment much but juz listen...

I still hope he would have told me the problems that happened between them coz I don't wanna judge anything just based on one side's story...

After went out with him a few times, everything's back to normal..and I hope he's comfortable with the situation now...

The main purpose I wrote this post is to let them read on how I felt..I don't wanna make it worst but I guess there's the risk of everything's screwed up...but if I didn't do so, I'm gonna regret when things are too late to be corrected...And I would like Jeff and See Heng to know that they really are some of the great friends that I ever had...and I really don't wanna lose this friendships...

confession of emoboy...